Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Being a Mom..

Today I am going to have a vent session! I have been stressed out because Finn still won't eat. He is normally a BIG eater, but ever since this weekend he has not wanted to eat at ALL. He will eat certain things but he is being very picky and it's not like him. I am stressing over it but I guess he is old enough to let me know when he is hungry. I have always wanted him to eat a lot and now this not eating is really bugging me.

I want Finn to listen, but I don't know if spanking is the right thing for him? He has been pitching these temper tantrums when we do tell him no. He is very strong willed (thanks to Jared for that) and gets irritated very easily. I don't want to give him the wrong message about hitting but I do want him to respect us and know what NO means.

I took Finn back to the doctor on Monday and he said his ears looked fine now but he looked like he had blisters in his throat that were pretty much cleared up. He said he could have had that Hand, Foot, & Mouth virus. The doctor at the beach didn't even look at his throat. Sometimes I think doctors just say something just to pacify us Moms??  Can you tell I'm frustrated today!

Then another thing I'm wondering about is when to take Finn's paci away. He doesn't take it all the time, mainly when he sleeps, naps, or when he is really fussy I will give it to him. I am afraid if I keep on he is going to get more attached to it, but he likes it when he sleeps and I don't want to take it away to soon? 

Being a Mom is a very hard job if you think about it. All the decisions you have to make for your children. What they're going to eat, to breastfeed or not, what there going to wear, where they're going to school, punishing them or not punishing them, when to take away the paci, when to change to 1 nap a day, to take them to the doctor or not to, the list goes on and on.

And yes, everyone has their own opinions. That's why God made us all different. I have my own idea of what parents should do for their children, and I see everyday what I think "should" be done with children. We shelter Finn from the world and from getting germs. Do I think it's the right choice for him, not so much, but it's just what we do. I stay at home with him and try to not let him get germy. He still is sick ALL the time? I think we are starting to lighten up a little bit. I don't want to hold him back from playing on playgrounds and interacting with other children because I am afraid of him getting germs. I don't like to leave him, I know everyone says it's a good thing to be away, but I just can't. When I wanted to have children I wanted to give my whole life to them, not give them to a babysitter all the time. When I go out somewhere, I want to go where he can go. If he can't go with me, I don't want to go. I do feel like Jared and I are good parents. Finn is happy, healthy, growing like he is supposed to, and doing everything right.

 I LOVE being a Mom more than anything in the world. It has opened my eyes to a whole new life. I shouldn't complain because all of these hard decisions I think I have, there are Mom's having to make life changing decisions for their children and families. I have so much to be thankful for!

All we can do as Mom's is ask God to guide us to make the right decisions for our children. I know with God's help I WILL make the right decisions for Finn! 
 If you have any suggestions or idea's that worked for you please share!

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9  

5 comments:

  1. I am always thankful that the good times parenting by far out weigh the bad. I think too much advice can be harmful, just go with your gut.

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  2. Shelli,
    Love this post! It sounds like you and I parent the same exact way! Reading your post about wanting to always be around our child and going places where they can go and deciding to be a mom and giving that to your child 100% is exactly how I do it also! You and I both had a 36 weeker so I know from my stand point as much as I been through to have Kelcee I want to always be around her....I'm not saying it is for everybody or it is the right way I just love it....

    Girl the germ thing, um me without an immune system we are constantly stressing about it..., using hand santizers, we still take Kelcee to the park, play groups etc., we just sanitize her ALOT....LOL

    I think you guys are wonderful parents and I think you will make the best decision, all kids are different and what works for one won't always work for another!

    Hang in there sweet friend....Oh I will say when Kelcee was sick I was worried about her just nibbling around and my peditrician told me that they will eat when they are hungry and just leave snacks around for them to nibble on, like puffs, fruit, etc., I dunno if it will help or not....but it did for us

    Hope Finn Starts to feel better soon
    xoxo
    Summer :0)

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  3. Hey Shelli-I love reading your blogs-I think I found them through Facebook-I just wanted to share with you a trick about the pacifier I did with my oldest son-He loved his paci and I like you, didn't want him to be super attached to it all the time so here's what I did...Every week I would cut it (the part he sucked on). Just a little the first week, and a little more every week that followed. That way in a few weeks, he wouldn't even be able to keep it in his mouth b/c there was nothing really to suck on. This left it up to HIM to not want it anymore instead of me just taking it away cold turkey. It def. is a hard thing to be a Mom. And you're right, there are soooo many choices we have to make!! I hope Finn starts to feel better! He is such a handsome little fella!!

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  4. first let me comfort you with the fact that 1) God is perfectly in control and we can rest and 2) alot of these frets disappear with babe #2 ; ). I wasn't the typical first time mom...I only know this bc everyone told me. I don't get worked up too easily... I have learned this almost as a behavior as I surrender my "control" to God. Your Bible verse is one of my favorites. The other great thing is that God can undo any mistakes we do make.

    I spank. I think it is biblical. But I also don't think it is the best discipline for every child and or ever circumstance. I use to use my hand but I use a "paddle" now. It is a wooden spoon and I call it a paddle. For some things tho time out works best.

    Oh you could read toddler wise if you want...I read it and thought it was ok...

    I am still learning day by day. we got rid of darby's pacy by giving it to santa. she was 2.5 which was later than I wanted but nevertheless.

    ok wow...did you go to dr's care? I can't stand dr's care and places like that.

    I think you are a fabulous mom! Finn is so blessed to have a mom who cares so much!

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  5. i'm right there with you girlie! my son just turned 14 mos and we are having a challenge with eating. he has a severe egg allergy (he can't eat anything even containing eggs - which eliminates a lot) so that makes eating time all the more difficult. oh, and the paci's... i keep saying we will limit them to only at night, but then sometimes if we're having a rough day (or mama is just plain tired) it is way easier to just let him have it whenever!

    anyways, hang in there... i feel clueless all the time but am so thankful that the Lord gives us the wisdom we need to raise our little blessings!

    i adore your blog. you are presh! i'm going to follow you. : )

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